My Christmas Miracle: A widower in Rome, 2006

 14 years ago, widowed almost 11 months, I journeyed to Rome at Christmas. Somewhat of a pilgrimage for me as my first/late wife, Kim, had played there some 20 years earlier as a part of a touring Euro-American youth orchestra. Even before she got sick, she told me wonderful and inspiring stories about her trip, and we talked about traveling there together someday. That never happened as she passed in early February.

On Christmas eve, after having a wonderful meal of homemade pasta and the local house wine at a local osteria, I meandered through the winding and tight back streets from my "neighborhood" for the week, Piazza della Rotonda, over the Tiber River to the majestic and pretty overwhelming and crowded main thoroughfare that runs through Vatican City up to St. Peter's Piazza.

Along with thousands of other shivering folks who, like me, didn't have a ticket to enter the magnificent church, we nonetheless experienced a unique Christmas Eve as Pope Benedict presided over the perennial Midnight Mass amidst the Christmas lights, creches and candles outside in the massive Piazza.

A flood of emotions covered me that evening; initially prevailing grief that sent tears streaming down my face ultimately yielded to the warm embrace of God's loving presence and promise. As I looked around me, I observed others who had similar expressions. I couldn't help but think that some of them may be grieving like me - maybe some had lost a spouse, maybe a child, or a parent, sibling, a friend - but they too also looked as though they may have experienced God's amazing grace in our shared experience.

As the Mass ended, the throng, tired and shivery and shakey, but palpably peaceful, departed and made their way back to wherever they came from in the cold Roman night. I  have never experienced anything like it and perhaps never will again. What I am sure of is God's presence and embrace that evening in that large space. As I made the 30-40 minute walk back to my hotel, I held the Christmas promise in my heart that a Light still shines in the darkness; that dawn will arrive and that Good News of great joy indeed came to humanity all those years ago.

Merry Christmas to everyone no matter where you are, no matter that state of your mind and heart, no matter your beliefs. Let the light shine. 

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