A quarter century since our generation's Pearl Harbor

On September 11^th, 2001, I was in the grieving process.  A few weeks prior, I saved the life of my then fiancé as she nearly overdosed in what was a suicide attempt.  I was 31 at the time and that was, to that point in my life, the most traumatic thing I’d witnessed.  Fortunately, I made the call to medical emergency responders, and she pulled through; I was told had I made that call just 10 or 15 minutes later, the outcome would have been fatal.  It was fatal to our relationship though.

So the day the planes destroyed the World Trade Center, one smashing a portion of the Pentagon, and another one plummeting into a Pennsylvania field as the result of the brave passengers ensuring the hijackers would not meet their intended target, I was iced over from my August trauma.  That said, as we all were who witnessed those events that late summer Tuesday morning, it was our generation’s Pearl Harbor.  So many questions.  How could it happen?  Who was behind this?  One person?  Many?  Some of these questions had answers, many did not.  And, of course, we got into a protracted war with Iraq and then later Afghanistan, in which many Americans and many native civilians were killed. 

There was, of course, that all-too-brief time when America came together in the wake of September 11th.  More to the point, the sublime grit and bravery of New Yorkers helping one another through the wreckage and then rebuilding of lower Manhattan is a testimony to how incredibly tough and determined that city has built and earned its reputation on for years; 9/11 and the aftermath only shown a greater spotlight for the broader world to witness.  Simply astounding.

My personal life after 9/11?  I have a lot to be thankful and rejoice about, including my wife, two children; the ability to pivot careers ensuring bread remains on the table and in the bank; a musical chapter that has flourished beyond my wildest dreams (and certainly one that I couldn’t have foreseen 25 years ago); and I have a terrific circle of close friends and acquaintances.  Conversely, it’s been a quarter century in which I watched my first spouse die in our living room, the loss of my step-father (my “Dad” for 32 years), the passing of a sibling, nephews, and many others.  But on the whole, yes, it’s with gratitude that I count the good fortune I’ve had these many years now.

But corporately and in retrospect, 9/11, marked the end of an otherwise pretty damn good final quarter of the 20^th century, especially the last decade of it.  9/11+ has mostly been a quagmire of unbelievable large-scale pathologies.  From the aforementioned dragged-out wars (and has anybody yet found Saddam Hussain’s WOMD?); to the financial crisis of 2008-2009; to the stark political divisions that a certain humorless caricature of a reality show host massively exploited a decade ago; to a once-in-a-century pandemic.  By all macro measures, America has suffered a terribly shitty first quarter of the 21^st century. 

I hope we don’t ever endure another 9/11.  Only a mad person would say something to the contrary.  But if we did endure it, would our country come together in the fashion we did in those weeks and few months afterward?  Given the current climate, I’m less optimistic.  I think as we head to the second quarter of this century, we’re likelier to circle the wagons on a micro scale:  less “Rah Rah AMERICA!” and more “Let’s pay more attention to the community in which live and to those whom we care about the most”.  The younger generation has a helluva lot of work ahead.  I am hopeful that we as a nation will endure, but I also think we’ve got some healing and alone time from others to deal with first (“A time to refrain from embracing” as Ecclesiastes puts it). 

Find joy where you can.  Simple pleasures.  Like watching the first crocus of spring emerge from the ground as I did shortly after my first wife died.  Flowers popping up through March snow.  That’s a small miracle.  My soul remains hopeful.